He said, “I miss you” and told me I’m special, beautiful and he enjoys being with me. I was happy in his company. He was very handsome; he was a Dentist with good goals and aspirations. I looked forward to his texts, emails and phone calls. He gave me just enough attention and niceties to think he was a good guy and interested in me as I was in him. A couple of months went by, and I noticed he rarely mentioned my daughter. He only asked about her one time, but I filed that away in a folder in the back of my mind.
He took pictures of me, and I told him not to share them with anyone. He told me he showed the picture to one friend.
This story is from a lovely, intelligent, and beautiful client of mine whom I will call Karen. Karen later told me she found out that he had emailed her picture to fifteen different friends, and he had told people they were destined to breakup because of her baggage (her child). Karen ended her relationship immediately.
The point of sharing this story is to highlight several things that can occur while we are dating. We don’t always get enough information before jumping in with both feet and getting emotionally and physically involved. We ignore red flags. Red flags are things we observe and don’t feel good about. We may be so entrenched in the relationship that we want to see the best in people, so we let things go, and don’t ask enough questions. We may be afraid to rock the boat, afraid of the title of being “a nag” or putting “pressure” on him/her—afraid of rejection. We may still have left over residue from a past relationship that is hindering our judgment.
Maybe we are too focused on the goal of getting married instead of being in the moment. If we are fearful, afraid that time is running out, whether it’s pressure from family or our own, we may settle for less than we deserve. We are not valuing ourselves, we are not trusting divine orchestration, fearful that we won’t find another person, and we accept behavior and settle.
We attract into our life the energy of who we are at that time. Observe what you believe around relationships. Your most dominant beliefs will manifest- the good and bad. Here are some healthy beliefs: “I believe my next relationship is going to flow really easily!” “I know this person exists, and I’m excited to have him/her in my life.”
Are you asking enough of the right questions to really get to know a potential relationship candidate? We don’t necessary ask the most pertinent questions. Our focus may be too centered on how “he or she” feels about us, wondering things such as “When am I going to see him/her next? I wonder if he/she loves me and wants a committed relationship”. These are normal questions. But, stop for a minute and see if you have enough information to decipher if this person matches up with your values. It’s also very important to be clear within yourself about your own values. Are you clear on your OWN relationship values? Who are you?
If this article resonates with you and you want to delve into this subject matter deeper, you have the opportunity!
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Navigating Through Life Challenges-
7 Step Formula For Relationship Success!
September 17, 6:00 – 7:00 pm EST
You will learn the seven step formula to create better and more successful relationships!
Formula for Relationship Success:
1. Be clear on your own self-worth as a life partner
2. Live in the moment
3. Trust life, and divine orchestration
4. Be clear on your values of your life partner
5. Believe in abundance – you perfect partner already exists and you will meet him/her. Be open.
6. Ask many questions to your potential dating partner; listen with both ears and observe.
7. Pay attention to red flags. discern, trust your feelings, discuss, and take action.
I will guide you to discern your values, release your external and internal pressures, release old programming, and how to ask the right questions!
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