I need help getting out of a rut

Dear Laurie,

I feel like I’m in a rut and can’t get out of it. Can you help me? I would really appreciate it!


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Dear Donna,

I don’t have any details about the rut you’re in, so my response is pretty generic. The first thing to do is find time to sit quiet, close your eyes, breathe and relax. Allow all of your feelings to come to the surface when you look at your situation.

Just simply observe them and allow them to speak to you. Listen lovingly to what each emotion or complaint is saying. These are your queues to help you identify what you do want. Now that you know what you don’t want, ask yourself, “What would it look like if I was not in a rut?”

Write a story that brings you the greatest fulfillment, the most happiness and success. Include in your story how supported you are with wonderful friends, a loving and happy romantic partner, career opportunities and feeling your most vibrant and confident you.

From your story, pull out your goals. Write down each goal as short term or medium term. Daily, spend roughly 20 minutes imagining and feeling like those goals are happening right now. In this visualization, you are already living them. Notice how it makes you feel to be living that way. And even if you are not clear with all of the details about what it would look like, just imagine feeling as if you are living in a way that brings you much happiness and joy.

During your day, you want to be super vigilant with your thoughts. You want to become a similar vibration, a match to how you want to live. Act as if you know and appreciate your goals and wishes are being created now, you feel happy, connected to your divinity, whole, confident, capable and fulfilled.

Observe if you have thoughts such as, “This is never going to happen” or “I’m stuck and can’t get out.” If you do have these thoughts, process them. I offer a great processing technique in my book “Language of the Heart: Unconditional Love, Living Fully Empowered.”

The key is to absolutely believe you are creating this new path for yourself, one that is unstuck. And, it begins in your mind, opening to the possibility that you have the ability to see behind the walls that are temporarily around you. And that resources and support are entering your life. Or, maybe it’s just as simple as viewing your current situation in a new way. If another person is involved in your so-called rut, maybe having a conversation with this person may resolve some things for you.

Set your intention: “My intent is to feel unstuck and feel great happiness, freedom and fulfillment. I ask for support to help me.” Observe the opportunities, suggestions from others and support that comes into your life. Follow a resonance, what feels right and is aligned with your heart, joy and goals. Take action on the things and direction that feels right to you. Do research, gather information, take action steps and use your voice to create this new happiness. And live in the moment, knowing you are creating this daily.

After all, you are an infinite, fully empowered, whole, divine being. Believe in your abilities to get yourself out of the rut or change the way you perceive the situation.

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Laurie Martin is a certified life coach, yoga teacher and writer. She is the author of three books: “Language of the Heart: Unconditional Love, Living Fully Empowered,” “Smile Across Your Heart: The Process of Building Self-Love,”, and an e-book, “The Conscious Breakup Guide, Navigating Yourself Through the End of Your Relationship.” Laurie offers workshops and classes. Visit her website for more information and sign up for her free newsletter at www.smileacrossyourheart.com.