I have been studying the concept of unconditional love on different levels for many years. I’m happiest when I remove my expectations from others, on how I would want them to act or “be”. This alleviates a lot of potential disappointments because it’s about embracing “what is”.
If I begin expecting something, I use it at an opportunity to ask myself, “What am I looking for, What do I need?” And, then I pull my energy back to myself and give myself what I’m looking for from others.
For example, if I wanted my dad to be really excited over my new video (this is attaching an expectation to my dad’s reaction) and if he didn’t act in a way I hoped, then I could get dissapointed. But, if i had no expectations, then it wouldn’t matter how he responds. He can be himself and respond how he likes, and I can choose not to personalize his response because it’s doesn’t take anything away from my excitement over the video.
Does this make sense?
I’ve had several attendees in workshops discuss their feelings about their daughter-in-laws- seems to be a big topic! I would imagine mother-in-laws would be a big topic too amongst many. If we can embrace others just as they are, and not expect them to be any other way, and not make them wrong, we can live a lot lighter. One attendee was holding onto anger about her daughter in law, and had a boat load of expectations on wanting her to be different, this caused more pain – because it is fighting against reality. The key is, to stop making her wrong, to be open to see it differently and to accept her. And, to understand that her daughter-in-law may have feelings of insecurity within her that is causing her to behave in this way. The key to striving for emotional maturity, is to look past the behavior as to what is driving it, what is motivating it? Is it a control issue which is fear based, or some kind of insecurity?
Here is a way to get centered and connected to unconditional love. You can do this daily or when you’re in a heated discussion with someone, ask yourself, “How can I get into a space of unconditional love?”
Sit and relax. Close your eyes and visualize connecting to creator source energy. Set your intention to be connected to this love and feel it inside your heart and discern the situation from this place of peace. State your intention, “I Intend to view the situation from a feeling of love and connection to unconditional love.” Now from this perspective, more than likely, you will feel that you don’t have to defend yourself, nor point out other’s mistakes. Just stating how you feel and what is best for you from a peaceful energy, not anger or hurt. And, this doesn’t mean you have to continue a relationship, it means you can love them from a distance. And, it doesn’t mean you don’t have boundaries.
I know it’s not always easy! And, I view these experiences as an opportunity to love myself more than giving my power away to someone else. That is what we are doing when we personalize, or have attachments–we are making other people’s feelings more important than ours or we are looking for validation, love or respect from others. Inner peace must come from within.
Here is to YOU embracing yourself and feeling unconditionally loved inside!!! How do feel you are doing with unconditional love in your relationships?