I Want to Stop my Bothersome Thoughts


Dear Laurie: I can’t see to stop my mind from thinking about negative things. What are some ways to stop the worrisome thoughts?

Thank you,


Dear Sam,

Thank you for having the courage to reach out. If you run from your thoughts and pretend they are not there then you are just resisting them. And, what we resist persists. But if you allow yourself to be present with what is troubling you with a loving awareness, no judgment, you can process your emotions.

Try this exercise: Sit down and close your eyes, place one hand on your belly and your other hand on your heart. Breathe in and out through the nose. Relax all of your muscles. Feel the rise and fall of your belly moving with your breath. Tune into your heart. Place your hands on your heart and allow your feelings and what is troubling to come to the surface.

What emotions are you feeling or sensing? Say to yourself, “I know these emotions and thoughts are not who I am, it is just what I’m experiencing at the moment.”

Ask yourself: Are you feeling rejected or worthless in anyway? Are you angry? Are you lonely? Tell your emotions they are welcome to express fully. Listen with loving and accepting ears. Fully accept the expression in a place of neutrality as the witness. Trust what you sense and intuit. When you feel as if the emotions are done communicating, say, “thank you for sharing, I love you and you are welcome here.”

Now begin to question your thoughts with such inquiries as, “How would a person who unconditionally loved him or her feel?” “Am I making an assumption and projecting the worst case scenario?” “What advice would I give my best friend?” “If I truly loved myself, what is the most powerful way to think?”

What would the best-case scenario look like? If you are judging yourself for having these worrisome thoughts, this is a good time to forgive yourself.

Breathe in unconditional love from the highest source of love. Feel your heart filling with this love and surround your fears and worries in love. Breathe this love and light into your body for several minutes or until you begin to feel better and you sense the fear dissolves fully into love and light. In your own time, open your eyes and wiggle your fingers and toes and stretch your arms up over your head.

Getting in a place of gratitude is a quick way to raise your vibration. Play the gratitude game: In every moment, there are hundreds of things all around us to appreciate. Focus on the small things that “work” out for you during your day. Say out loud, “I’m so grateful for (insert that positive thing here).”

Some other helpful activities include yoga, meditation and emotional freedom technique. But, most of all, Sam, be kind and loving to yourself while you practice mindful living. Namaste!

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Laurie Martin is a leading teacher of self-love and personal empowerment. Laurie is a certified life coach, yoga teacher, writer and author of “Smile Across Your Heart: The Process of Building Self-Love” and her new e-book, “The Conscious Breakup Guide.” Sign up for her free newsletter to receive her workshop invites or purchase her books or services: at www.smileacrossyourheart.com or contact her via email at LaurieM@SmileAcrossYourHeart.com.