Laurie Martin's Blog

My latest Heart to Heart column in today’s newspaper helps readers express their love and appreciation to their mothers.

If you are a mom, Happy Mothers Day!! And, if you don’t have children, celebrate your nurturing, loving, caring and selfless heart!
Namaste!!
Laurie

Heart to Heart column in the Naples Daily News:

Dear Laurie,

My mom is so amazing. She raised me as a single mom. I feel like I haven’t shown her enough of how amazing I think she is and how much I appreciate her for everything she did and put up with while raising me. My mom lives on the east coast of Florida. I do tell her I love her and my family and I see her monthly. But I guess I feel guilty for the tough time I gave her when I was in high school and as an adult I never addressed that with her. I wonder if she knows how grateful I am for everything she did for me. Do you have any idea on how can I show her or let her know?

Thanks,

John

Dear John,

Thank you so much for your beautiful question and your beautiful heart.

Your mom is lucky too! I know you mentioned that you tell her that you love her — that’s wonderful. It seems that you have some guilt for some of your high school behavior. I suggest having a nice heart to heart with your mom. To help you gather your thoughts of what you want to say to your mom, I have listed a few questions with samples answers. Review the questions and jot down your answers on paper. You can then decide if you want to write something in a card, tell her face to face or over the phone.

1. What are you sorry for? What do you feel guilty about? (Tell her how sorry you are for the things you put her through, for the fear she must have had as a single mom, and the courage she had for being such a loving and caring person and any other specific incident.)

2. What are you grateful for? (Be specific here, for example, she was there for you when you got into trouble at school, when you needed money, she gave you her last few dollars, or she went to all of your hockey games.)

3. What do you admire about your mom? (Her positive attitude, her selfless behavior, her love and support, her encouraging words, her motivation at just at the right time, her lively spirit, her honesty, her ability to not care what others think.)

4. What qualities do you have because of your mom? (A good sense of humor, deep love for your own children, compassion and tolerance, love for people, love of music and school.)

5. What are some highlighted memories for you growing up? (Highlight the specific occasions that meant a lot to you and touched your heart.)

6. What is the one thing that you want her to know? (She has helped you in numerous ways; once again, be specific.)

Giving from your heart is the biggest gift of all. And Mother’s Day is the perfect time to share your love and gratitude. This will be a memorable one for both of you.

For a fun way to give your mom a token of your love, go to a trophy shop and pick out a really nice trophy that says “Best Mom in the World” with her name inscribed on it.

I’m excited for the beautiful heart connection you and your mother will be having. From my heart to yours, namaste!

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Laurie Martin is a national teacher of self-love and empowerment. As a professional speaker, certified life coach, author, advice columnist and writer, Laurie shares her passion, wisdom and knowledge guiding and helping others release emotional attachments and personalization’s to live with a pure heart, follow their own guidance, be their innate beauty, and live with an enlightened level of empowerment. She is the author of “Smile Across Your Heart: The Process of Building Self-Love.”

By Laurie Martin Community Contributor

Thursday, April 12, 2012

Dear Laurie,

I’ve read many books that say our thoughts, words and feelings affect our life circumstances. I am very hard on myself. I noticed that when I’m going through a challenge, I usually think I did something wrong, maybe I had a negative thought or a negative feeling that caused this, and I get mad at myself, become hyper critical, why didn’t I learn this lesson yet? Why am I still fearful about this? Why haven’t I grown past this? I read your column and love your helpful and positive approach to life. Do you have any suggestions on how I stop being so hard on myself?

Maria

Dear Maria,

Bless you Maria for your beautiful heart! This is a wonderful question! I’m going to address your question of how to view this differently from your current behavior of being critical and hard on yourself. Please know I have no judgment on your current situation.

A perspective from a space of unconditional love is one that believes life is an experience, and when you are in a challenge, this is an experience you are having, staying in a space of neutrality. Neutrality is no judgment, no labels. You are not less than in any way. You are bringing awareness to the situation and fully accepting it. You know this challenge will pass, as others have. This view helps us draw our energy back from our emotional attachments and take life a little lighter.

You can accept your current situation and stay in unconditional love for yourself. Treat yourself with gentle, kind nurturing, compassionate language such as “You are amazing, I love you so much, and I truly believe you are doing the best you can right now which is perfect. Through this experience, you are becoming richer of a person.”

While you are trying on this space of neutrality, you may bounce back and forth between your familiar critical voice and bringing yourself back to this higher knowing and remembrance of who you are and how powerful you are. Just the fact that you have sought out a higher understanding which always comes from a loving place is proof you are evolving. Each and every time you choose not to be critical and you choose a kinder approach is another sign you are choosing love. And, when you are in the midst of being critical or not feeling too good about yourself, catch yourself and maybe find humor and laugh at yourself. You are human. We have emotions. We all have moments of feeling many different emotions. Allow yourself to feel your feelings without judgment. As the famous saying goes, “If you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” This saying pertains to yourself too.

As you go through challenges, reach out to a friend for a supporting voice, or join a like minded group that interests you. Do things that bring comfort to you. Thank you for your question. From my heart to yours!

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Laurie Martin is a national speaker in the arena of self-love and empowerment. As a professional speaker, certified life coach, author, advice columnist and radio host, she shares her passion and knowledge guiding others to tap into their own inspiration. She is the author of “Smile Across Your Heart: The Process of Building Self-Love.” For more info, log onto her website at www.SmileAcrossYourHeart.com or email Laurie questions at LaurieM@SmileAcrossYourHeart.com.

Heart to Heart: Confused about my life purpose
By Laurie Martin Community Contributor

Thursday, March 1, 2012

Dear Laurie,

Recently, I have been wondering what my life purpose is. What am I meant to be doing? I thought I knew, but I struggle with doubt and insecurity. I know you can’t answer these questions for me through this column, but I was wondering, when you work with clients who are going through something similar, what would you advise they do to figure this out?

Thank you so much,

Regina

Dear Regina,

You are not alone; many people are going through something similar and are seeking greater fulfillment. First thing I would advise is quiet time to discern fears and your intuition. When a client of mine is struggling with these questions, in most cases it’s a sign that they are on an inner journey — a journey of getting to know themselves better.

When we have confusion, this is a great opportunity to create a better relationship with ourselves, which will bring the clarity as to our direction, and a direction that is for our highest good. From my experience, greater fulfillment is achieved by being an authentic expression of our true essence, helping others and sharing our passions.

As you take quiet time to listen, embrace and accept your inner chatter. Be present to the whispers inside your heart, process your fears and doubts, heal your disappointments, explore what brings you joy. Doing this inner work helps create a more intimate relationship with yourself. This is a great time to get real and be extremely authentic in all ways. Ask yourself questions such as, if I was leaving this world, what would I want people to say about me? What message of wisdom would I leave behind? How can I be more of an example of this message? What type of environment do I enjoy working in? What topics of interest do I enjoy talking, reading or engaging in? What type of industry do I feel a particular pull or tug toward and what kind of experience would I like to have? What would I like to create? Who would I like to collaborate with? What five things am I really good at? How would I like to share my talents? How can I share my gifts in the most enjoyable way? What would I like to learn? How will my contribution benefit others?

Write all your responses down in a journal. Do your research; speak to people you know, stay open to possibilities, and stay true to your heart. Set an intention, “I ask and intend to gain insight and clarity as to my highest and best way to express myself that allows me to feel fulfilled and contribute in a positive way to humanity.” The only person who can be you is you. There is no accident you are here on earth right now, and you are much needed. This time in your life is very purposeful — you are in a place of personal growth, this growth is creating inner strength, clarity, and is propelling you to have a new experience, one which your heart is seeking. It is OK to not have all the answers right now and for some people this can be a scary place to be, living in the unknown. I know, because I have been there. Be kind, patient and loving toward yourself during this chapter of your life.

Take one step at a time, focus on what you do know for sure and live in the moment fully. Observe what doors open for you. Pay attention to how you feel. The more you have the courage to trust this process and feel empowered in all ways, the whole world benefits. This is an exciting time for you, you are about to birth something new! You are choosing a new reality, one that is aligned with your true essence. This is building confidence and self-reliance.

Remind yourself, you are a glorious empowered divine being! Maybe you just need to be reminded that you are enough right now. From my heart to yours!

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Laurie Martin is a national speaker in the arena of self-love and empowerment. As a professional speaker, certified life coach, author, advice columnist, she shares her passion and knowledge guiding others to tap into their own inspiration. She is the author of the published book, “Smile Across Your Heart: The Process of Building Self-Love.” For more info, log onto www.SmileAcrossYourHeart.com or email questions at LaurieM@SmileAcrossYourHeart.com.

Watch this 1 minute video message from me and remember your eternal divine light!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xn9OYTUk23M&feature=autoshare

  Happy New Year! We have all gone through different size life transitions, personal challenges and much spiritual growth. I personally thank you! As each of us does our personal growth work we are raising our vibration another octave higher and with this increase we are assisting with the increase of raising the earth’s vibration. Thank you for all you have endured and for staying aligned to love, trust and faith!

I hope you enjoy this month’s article. The intention is for you to celebrate the emotional wealth you created and be proud of yourself! In many cases, it was not given to you, you had to dig deep!

I’m humbly grateful my Smile Across Your Heart radio show is now a “FEATURED” SHOW. You can listen FOR FREE to the thirty minute recent show by clicking on this link: The Difference Between Self-love and Arrogance!

January 6, Thursday, 12 noon is the next Smile Across Your Heart radio show, “Creating Your Bucket Full of Love!”

 Something to be Proud of – Your Emotional Wealth

If you didn’t grow up with parents giving you regular and stable unconditional love, encouraging your spirits with verbal supporting positive accolades, positive emotional support and regular physical affection, you fought for every ounce of self –love. You learned how to support yourself through disappointments, through insecurities and even childhood traumas. You mustered every ounce of encouragement to spark your drive and have the courage to believe in yourself and your capabilities. With a parent filled with their own fears, doubting your decisions and choices, you had to fight harder and dig deeper to stay true to your inner core and hold a light to your dreams!

For many years you wanted your mom or dads to think you were successful, you learned success to you may be different than their definition. Each time you shared a positive story and didn’t receive the supportive response you so desperately wanted, you learned that this parent of yours was showing you that you didn’t need his/her approval, you needed to dip even deeper and appreciate yourself and stop giving your power away. You understood this parent was acting like a mirror reflecting your insecurity back to you. You learned to say to yourself, “Stop “needing” this validation from him/her because you are not going to get it in the way you want it.” You told yourself, “I must validate myself!” You learned to appreciate their way of showing you love. Wow, the inner strength kept on building. They really knew how to challenge your emotional and mental character!

Your parents may have been more traditional, had specific expectations for you and didn’t understand your out of the box philosophies but you had the courage and fortitude to do things your way. You learned that all human beings including yourself are only capable of giving what you have inside to give. You love your parents very much and appreciate everything they have given, taught, provided and shared including their wonderful qualities that you did inherit that helped mold your character!

You learned to stop wishing your parents were different than they were because you understood that you chose your parents for your divine learning lessons. And, you understood every time you wished they were different it was like you were saying that you weren’t good enough. You knew you had to stop wishing things were different and accept them exactly like they had been. You discovered once you accepted everyone and everything without wanting or wishing they were different, you found your everlasting inner peace.

Being angry at them didn’t serve any good. It only held you inside a prism of anger. And, you knew you were missing the bigger picture—that everything WAS and always had been in divine order. As a child you may not have always understood and may have questioned, “How did I end up here in this family?” You now know that as a divine spirit before coming to earth, you carefully chose your families for your life learning lessons. You knew precisely which aspects you wanted to learn more about within yourself, and the family you chose would provide that opportunity.

Your parents, at times, had the COURAGE to be mean, selfish, and emotionally unavailable, controlling, to be negative and non-supportive. This forced you to probe as deep as one can go—to grow in your inner strength, self-love, your courage, your decisive focus, and your ability to learn how to be your own best friend! They gifted you emotional and mental WEALTH. You know you can count on yourself! And, you kept your heart open to support, share, give and love others. You understand your parents did the best they could, coming from a different era, a consciousness that was saturated in fear and possibly different environments. You learned to have compassion and understanding for them and appreciate their many wonderful qualities! You bless them and thank them for a job well done!

This emotional wealth is worth millions in prosperity! You should be very proud of yourself!!! You were not handed self-love, encouragement, unconditional love, indomitable perseverance, and inner strength on a silver platter– YOU EARNED IT EVERY STEP OF THE WAY. You did the hard work and came out strong! Congratulations!!! You are my hero! Look how much you can love!

If I can help you in a personal life challenge, I offer my telephone life coaching services to you. Coaching sessions are done over the telephone. Read more about life coaching, click here: Life Coaching.